I’ve always been the one to give unsolicited advice, and probably had the confidence to ‘project’ that I’ve got life all worked out. 

Often when I hit these ‘high’ (like a weed high) notes in life, I get a good ol’ whack from creation, to put me right back into humble pie, and the corresponding awe and wonder of this mystery we call life. I have to constantly remind my already big ego that I really know very little, or nothing about what is really going on in life. 

This doesn’t mean I haven’t tried my whole adult life, to strive, obsess and figure life out. And sometimes feel that I get glimpses of truth. But still, I’m starting to recognise that even those glimpses or experiences are stories I tell myself  and ourselves, and the truth is already long gone. May that be about business, health, spirituality, relationships, politics, etc. (Note to self: I’m just telling another story right now which I believe has some ‘truth’ - the irony of life)

The story I’m telling myself now, is that some of the loudest speakers with the most Instagram likes (with the exception of ‘Oprah’ of course — haha - we all love her), who are leading a narrative of what we should or shouldn’t do in life and work, are the ones we should probably avoid. 

For example - Most of my career I’ve been an entrepreneur; training, accelerating and investing into others entrepreneurs. Especially those entrepreneurs at the bleeding edge of innovation, who are intentionally trying to improves the lives of Africans. 

I’ve noticed over the last two years, an Uber gaggle of disruptive technology and entrepreneurial ‘experts’ emerge out of nowhere. This explosion is wonderful, but what’s sad (or its shadow), is the MacDonalds / cheap take-out / 6 minute abs noise, as advice which is proliferating. So, here are a few tips to identify this new breed of ‘expert’: 

1. There is little/no original thought, it’s often repackaged content, often from other writers or found on social media. 

2. It’s instant gratification material built on a simple concept or notion, that once you have read it, felt the dopamine kick, it’s gone. It doesn’t really lead to any transformational shift. The incremental shift is also fluffy. 

3. They always give you advice on what you should be doing : three / six top tips. Therefore, you are forever reaching out like a donkey for that unreachable carrot of success, almost smelling it, but never reaching it there, as you are always three steps behind on implementing. You might even try a few, and give up up quickly. 

4. Their track history on what they are speaking about is often an exaggeration or weak. You will read things like ‘decades of experience’, visionary, etc. But actually, there is a ‘fake it till you make it’ aspect playing itself out. If you look 5 years back, they were probably a gym instructor or accounting manager, now teaching humanity on how to become a success, lead a purpose driven life, or build a billion dollar business, which positively affect billions of people.

5. If you are in tune, the advice and the person feels particularly inauthentic, and the subject matter not deeply understood nor embodied, but perhaps well narrated. Often, the richness of any advice comes from the layers of the experience over a long period of time. These layers become an art in storytelling, much like a professional tennis player makes their strokes look so easy. It’s a bit like getting marital advice from a 25 year old tantra ‘master’, who has never been married, had children, nor been in a relationship for longer than 1 year. 

6. There is often this brandish attitude of positivity as the only way towards success, where life is about ‘purpose’, ‘passion’, asking yourself the ‘why’, focusing on disruption and the future. An almost sweaty type of motivational speak, which leaves one in a trance of ‘we can do it’ now.  

7. It’s always about working harder, striving, faster. Time is wasting, and you better seize the opportunity now.

8. There is always this confident, sometimes arrogant demeanour, that if you follow these rules/tips, you will be happier, more productive and ‘better’. Humbleness, and vulnerability, or not knowing, is not part of the vocabulary or feeling one gets.

I don’t want you to think that these people can’t add value, other than avoiding them. My only advice is be conscious on what choices you make, when guiding our lives through an ever connected world where everyone is now an expert. Quick tips and guidance is useful, but its worth is no more confirming than hitting the ‘like’ button. It’s a good Thai take-out. Which is fine. 

I like to remember that life is actually hard. It has loads of ups, downs and every which way. Suffering is a key aspect in life as much as success, beauty, awe and friendship. Needing down time, slowing down to speed up, and realising that your life is unique to you ONLY. And the only path to follow is yours. No one can make or inform your choices, except your inner guidance. Listen to everyone and everything, but only emulate only YOU.

So, my point in this article is, smell the roses, chill out, we know how hard you already try, where you are now is perfect, change is already happening to all of us without having to drive hard. There is a time to push, but there a time to also recluse, and spend more time listening, being kinder and being before doing. And most of all, try match yourself outwardly to what’s happening on the inner planes. That’s authentic and its the real you.